How very dare you !

50 signs that one is getting old - according to today's papers.   Go on - see how many you can tick off !

1. Feeling stiff.

2. Groaning when you bend down.

3. Saying: “It wasn’t like that when I was young.”

4. Saying: “In my day.”

5. Losing your hair.

6. Not knowing any songs in the top ten.

7. Getting hairy ears, eyebrows, nose and face.

8. Hating noisy pubs.

9. Talking a lot about creaking joints or ailments.

10. Forgetting people’s names.

11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style.

12. Thinking that policemen, teachers and doctors all look young.

13. Falling asleep in front of the TV.

14. Needing an afternoon nap.

15. Discovering you have no idea what young people are talking about.

16. Struggling to use technology.

17. Losing touch with technical advances in tablets and televisions.

18. Starting to complain more.

19. Wearing your glasses around your neck.

20. Not remembering the name of any modern bands.

21. Avoiding lifting heavy things due to fear of a bad back.

22. Complaining about the rubbish on television these days.

23. Misplacing your wallet, bags or keys.

24. Switching from Radio 1 to Radio 2.

25. Driving very slowly.

26. Preferring a night in with a board game to a night on the town.

27. Taking a keen interest in Fiona Bruce and the Antiques Roadshow.

28. Discovering your colleagues are so young they don’t know what an Opal Fruit is.

29. Listening to The Archers.

30. Falling asleep after one glass of wine.

31. Never going out without your coat.

32. Getting bed socks for Christmas – and being very grateful.

33. Discovering you can’t lose 6lb in two days any more.

34. Gasping for a cup of tea.

35. Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out.

36. Joining the Women’s Institute, 37. Taking a keen interest in the garden.

38. Spending more money on face creams and anti-ageing products.

39. Spending money on the home or furniture rather than a night out.

40. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather.

41. Putting everyday items in the wrong place.

42. Obsessive gardening or bird feeding.

43. Finding you really enjoy puzzles and crosswords.

44. Grumbling about the price of things going up, while the size goes down.

45. Considering going on a “no children” cruise for a holiday.

46. Discovering your ears are getting bigger.

47. Joining the National Trust.

48. Drinking sherry.

49. Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking, even if it isn’t polite.

50. Thinking newsprint should be bigger . . . because your eyesight is going.

For myself, a sure sign of ageing is whenever I see Rihanna or Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez flaunting their bare flesh while singing half (or more) naked is to yell at them "For pity's sake Love, put some clothes on, you might catch a chill"! ... then there's that other pet peeve, seeing these young guys with their pants falling down - it just ain't right or pleasing to the eye, "pull your pants up, you are not in prison without a belt"; back in the '60s and '70s a well-filled pair of jeans was de rigeour! And I simply refuse to use self-service checkouts in the supermarket!

Age of course is just a figure, its really about mindset and attitude, plus people are living longer and doing more as they get older. We do though get to the stage when being out dancing and drinking all night with strangers eventually loses its appeal and one cherishes a nice evening in with friends and loved ones, with a good meal, some decent wine and entertainment ...and that the movies and music I liked 40 years ago means as much to me now, as the newer stuff I like. Some 30 year olds of course are old before their time, while others (hopefully including me) keep on going.